Fear On The Wall

November 25, 2007

fearonthewall.jpgYa ever feel like ya build things up in yer head and ya just want them to be so special and magical and like the old days? You put everything you have into it, your money you don’t have, your energy, your time, you give it all you have and more, so so so much more. Because you’re just sure it’s gonna be worth it in the end. Then when it comes time for it to happen, you get a funny pit in your belly. Cuz you just KNOW, it is not going to be what you want it to be. And its not even like you have a certain expectation in your head, like down to the T. It’s just a feeling, an idea, a hope. Maybe you’re hoping for love, kindness, charity, serenity, acceptance. Maybe it’s tradition or at least that’s what the tv tells you. It’s something special. But man when the that little nagging pit in your belly comes you do what you can to psyche yourself out and tell yourself, “no it’s gonna be ok.” But sure enough, it’s not gonna be what you hoped it would be. It is gonna be ok. It’s gonna be better than ok because you live your life for you and your loved ones. Your man and your child. The important ones. The ones that make it all good, every day and every night. We love each other. We bring love, kindness, charity, serenity and acceptance for one another always. But this one night, it is not gonna be what you hoped it would be. It never is, not ever. Each year comes and goes. You prepare, you ignore, you prepare, you ignore. It is always the same. Terrifyingly disappointing. They take, and they take until there is barely enough left for your man and your child to piece back together for you to get back to yourself. But they do. You do. And you tell yourself, it’s gonna be ok.

My First Retraction

November 25, 2007

It has come to my attention that a phrasing I used in the last post I created has caused some feelings of an unpleasant nature. So, I in no way meaning to cause such a thing, am here to print a full retraction of that phrasing. I referred to the people whom were born in the thirties as “poor bastards.” In my attempt to add a humorous turn of the phrase was alas unsuccessful, to say the least. Ironically, I was writing about this group of people, in part, in the context of pointing out that their have been many injustices made to this particular group. My post, was an effort to share that in my humble opinion this group, has more than most gone through more than their fair share of what society has to offer in the negative. For example; The Depression and World War II, and my specific point of not being given a name for their generation, just to name a few. But, I digress… My main point here is to retract the phrase, “poor bastard” in reference to people born in the thirties, and that is what I am doing here. It will not happen again. I hope my humble explanation sheds a little light on the subject. Thanks for listening.